Today I turned 44 years old. What a beautiful number. Nice and round; even and balanced. A lot like me: I'm generally nice; Definitely round; And trying to be balanced. There are so many things I love to do but I never have quite enough time or energy to do them all. That's normal, of course. But as I keep counting those birthday candles, sometimes I feel afraid that I am running out of time! I want to do as much as I possibly can. I want to think, write, create, share, sing, dance, produce, act. This is how I connect to the world around me. I am an artist. But I am also an organizer. I am a wife and the mother of six children. And above all else, I am a daughter of God. I love my life. It has been amazing so far. But things are changing as my children age. I find myself in an exciting position to set new goals and dreams. Turns out life isn't over at 40 - it's just "the beginning of the middle" - as my 17-year-old-daughter tells me. I want to keep this blog as a record and a reflection on these new creative adventures.
When I was in elementary school, I did a biography report on Grandma Moses. Have you ever heard of her? She was an amazing woman! She became a famous American Folk Artist. Her paintings have now sold for over a million dollars. But she didn't even start painting until she was 78! I was fascinated to learn about her when I was a young girl. I was shocked that old people could accomplish so much. (78 doesn't seem quite so old anymore...) Since then, she has always occupied a special place in my mind as I reflect about aging and creativity. We each have so much to offer. But we doubt that truth. We talk ourselves out of change and risk. We think our turn has passed. We're scared of what other people will think if we try. But we have something to say, to do, to create, to share! And even if no one else in the world appreciates our artistic contributions, WE benefit from the creative process.
I will always view my most important creative work as being a mom - and I can't wait to be a grandma someday! But this new phase of life is so interesting and challenging. I find myself driven to pick up older dreams and passions that had been put on hold for awhile. If you are reading this, I hope you will share your thoughts, goals and adventures too. What do you love to do? Do it! Don't let fear stop you from living. I'm learning that we don't have to know the end before we get started. Just take a chance! Our life story is being written every day one way or the other. Let's actively, purposefully and intentionally create our story.
Now that I know this secret blog is here, I can follow it. Mwa-ha-ha!!! It's definitely an interesting time of life. Even with younger children at home, sending older ones out to big life adventures has changed my perspective. I've gained so much more and realize what is important for me, and I allow less fluff. There IS only so much time ahead and only so much each day. Love you! You are a wonderful example and friend. I am deeply blessed to know you.
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